I recently found out that my husband….?
search phone records
I recently found out that my husband, asked a girl out for dinner. I have talked to the girl and looked at phone records and know that they only talked twice and that nothing happened (supposedly because she found out he was married). So should I continue to search phone records (since now he knows that I can do that) and should I be afraid that all though nothing happened this time, that it will some day, or maybe it has before? What can I do to really make sure or double check to see if he has cheated in the past….help any one that can give me some advise I would greatly appreciate it!!
Do you mean that he asked her out to "eat"? Yum!
serial cheat if you ask me. bet she werent the first, nor will she be the last, the dog. i would hit the roof, then snap his d**k off in his sleep
I think you should talk to him face-to-face. Going around behind his back to gather evidence is just going to widen the gap between you. This may have been a 1 time slip, and it may have happened before. The best way to find out is to confront him.
I would talk to him about it, first.
You KNOW he’s cheated now, is that not enough for you? Doesn’t matter the date never happend, he asked, that’s cheating! He isn’t emotionally commited to you any longer, why are you still there?
Maybe you should talk to your husband and find out what’s missing in your relationship that makes him want to go outside of it.
Do u put out often? If not, i suggest you start other wise it is 100% OK for him to cheat on u IMO.
i have no idea who this guy is. i have many female friends and going to dinner with one doesn’t mean anything.
If this is clearly out of the ordinary, or they are acting guilty, then I would say he has violated your trust. tell him so so he can work towards rebuilding it.
I would not be above doing a little snooping myself at least for a while. Then I would back off.
If you turn into a private eye and start looking for things, you will only make yourself miserable.
A better choice would be to tell your husband the following:
"Honey, you have violated my trust and I can’t be with you if I can’t trust you. So I’m giving you a choice right now. You can either choose to stay in this marriage, and that means making yourself accountable to me until I’m able to trust you again, or we can part ways."
So, he makes himself accountable to you by willingly providing you his phone records, receipts, telling you where he’s going and with whom, how long he will be gone, when he will be home, and calling to check in. You may call him to check up on him whenever you feel the need, and he does not complain about this, ever.
Are you for real dude? he is after sex with her, that is the bottom line in this.
If your so hesitant to think he isn’t cheating why would you wanna stick to that person?
Have you discussed this with your husband. I’m not so sure that if I had to worry about keeping that close of a watch over my husbands every activity to keep him faithful if I would choose to do so. Trust has been broken, if you can’t get past that your marriage very likely will not succeed. You may want to consider counseling. I think this would be a struggle, you have no reason to trust him….. Very difficult situation.
This is serious. You have to talk to him about it.
Counseling may help. Both of you have to work on your marriage.
you’re gonna go crazy playing detective. Been there, it’s gonna make you sick, tell him that you two need to have an HONEST talk and if he wants to date, and you can’t take that, then he’s gotta go. If you two can’t talk honestly, then this marriage is a sham-get out now while you’re young and not bitter.
something like that happened to me .wake up how long have you been married try and find out the truth good luck
That doesn’t sound like a one time slip up to me. The only slip here was that you found out! I would def. check his phone records, credit cards, email, social networking sites, etc. You can ask, but don’t expect to get the truth. I had the records printed out in my hand and confronted my ex about his different online dating profiles and he still tried to deny that it was him! Guys are ridiculous. Find the truth out for yourself. You deserve to know and you deserve the chance to make an informed decision whether to stay or go!
define the the term *dinner* if this is a professional thing or like minded friends hanging out after an event, shouldnt be a problem.
If the term dinner implies more, intimacy and a hookup.. that depends on how you feel? you want to be a 3rd wheel and share your marriage or you just a 1 man kinda guy?
GL.
Personally I think that your best bet would be to confront him.
Who is the girl? Does she work with him?
Do they play golf together at the country club?
Did he meet her at a bar, or grocery store?
Is she your babysitter?
If he has stepped outside the marriage for companionship, then there is a problem and needs to be addressed by both of you.
The question you both need to answer is :
Why does he need another woman in his life?
I don’t think its something someone else can answer for you, sadly things like this happen and then you cant stop thinking about it.. my boyfriend of 3 years once was asking another girl to meet him.. fortunately nothing happend then, but it could have done and since then i still worry.. its just something you have to deal with in your own way.. i made sure i checked on him for a while but all it did for me was make things more complicated for us.
You need to talk to him and hopefully he will be honestly with you. But asking a woman out to anything if you are married is unacceptable and he should know that and be very clear that you are not ok with it. ask him to be honest but keep checking. should he lie again Just leave him coz he clearly does not love or respect you enough to not do it.
As a guy, I don’t like when my GF goes through my phone, it shows lack of trust. I suggest you observe for a while and see if there are any irregular patterns developing. Look for him going outside to talk on the phone or you can even check his phone records for the next month to see if most of his calls are done when he is at home and your not. Only confront him when you have confirmed these things, because if this call turns out just to be a friend then you have damaged the trust in the relationship and possibly get the guy upset. Confront him later if you see that he looks fishy.
LISTEN, THERE’S ALWAYS A WAY TO HIDE ANYTHING. I COULD NEVER CONVINCE MY WIFE THAT I WILL NOT CHEAT. YOU CAN TALK TO HIS FRIENDS WIVES OR TO THE WOMEN THAT HE WORKS WITH. CHECK HIS E-MAILS. MOST OF ALL BE VERY ATTENTIVE TO WHAT HE DOES. WHO WAS YOUR SOURCE BEFORE? ALL THIS INVESTIGATION THOUGH ALWAYS BRINGS UP MORE PROBLEMS SO KEEP IT ON THE LOW LEVEL. CHECK EVERY NOW AND THEN WHEN HE DOESN’T THINK YOU WOULD OR SUSPECT, UNEXPECTEDLY.
Why did you call HER? She accepted a dinner out with a man who portrayed himself as single. You SHOULD have confronted your husband, he was fully aware that he is married and HE asked another woman out on a date. You obvioiusly don’t communicate with your husband, maybe that’s why he dates other women.
If you’re not going to make a big deal out of the one you do know about why would you want to know about others? Either step out of the marriage to get your point across. (leave without divorce-divorce isn’t the answer) Or do what ever you need to do to make your point. Try not to care about the past and deal with the here and now. Today, you know that he asked another women out. What are you going to do about that? The past makes no difference. And from experience, he’ll do it again if you don’t make it crystal clear that this is unacceptable. You need to act a fool, by that I mean, no dinner, no conversation, no nothing. As if he didn’t exist because if he’s does it again you shouldn’t exist in his life anymore. Let him see how that feels for a while. He needs to appriciate you. Good luck.
he shouldnt ask any girl out for dinner, its a date for petes sake.
regardless of his excuses. he wants to talk to her in a relaxed comfortable atmmosphere, buy her a drink first, he wants to get to know her. very very bad sign.
find out which rest then show up, and simply join them at the table. hell be shocked.
Honestly, maybe nothing did happen, but it doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have. Marriage is supposed to be something beautiful and sacred. Unfortunately, it’s not. You should be able to trust eachother abd feel comfortable that if he says he’s going out to a sports bar with some of the guys to watch the game and have a few drinks, that he will be. You shouldn’t have to even consider taking a look at the phone records, because relationships are built and trust, respect and communication. Maybe, it didn’t happen, but not because he stopped it. So, I would suggest before another incident like this occurs, that you get out of the relationship. Sorry, and best of luck,
In my opinion there is nothing left to search for because you already know that he asked this girl out for dinner and she refused because he was married.
He put the doubt in your heart and destroyed your trust and nothing will ever feel the same with him again.
You cannot go on for the rest of your life wondering what he will be doing behind your back and possibly bring you home an std if the next girl could care less if he is married.
Your husband has issues and he does not honer you and that is the bottom line here.
What he has done here is horrible to you and loving him or not you take your dignity and go.